For one, I'm (happily) single. Again. I'd say "divorced", but I don't like that it bases my current status on one from my past. Technically, they are both true in my mind, I just use the one I prefer. Not to hide my past, but to embrace the idea that I have moved past it and will not have my present or future be defined by it. Moving on...
I always tried to keep it fairly neutral and humorous here, but the past 5 years of marriage were very difficult. In retrospect, I should've ended it sooner instead of letting it devolve into something ugly, then unspectacularly implode on itself through an act of extreme cowardice on his part. Instead, I stubbornly clung to what I believed to be the good in a fellow human who I had pledged to love, trust, and support (turns out I did a whole lot more $upporting than loving and trusting, but that's another post for another day on another blog).
Suffice it to say, although the FOQ (Formerly known as "OH" Other Half, which turned out to be more of a Quarter, so he shall heretofore be referred to as "FOQ", Former Other Quarter, conveniently pronounced "FOCK") actually got the divorce ball rolling by basically running away to his home country for a few months under the guise of "taking care of his mother" (didn't happen), then informing me via FaceBook chat a mere 96 hours after my visit there ended that he didn't want to return to our house, our marriage, his children, or my country, I saw a window of opportunity and it smelled like freedom from this resource-sucking parasite of a man. So I spent exactly one night crying about it, and about two weeks staggering around in a shell-shocked daze asking myself, "am I really gonna do this - AGAIN?!". Yes, you read correctly. This is not my first time at the divorce rodeo, boys and girls. I have successfully failed at marriage not once, but twice. See how I spun that into a positive? That's just how I roll these days.
But after the shock wore off, and finally realizing I'm dealing with what is most likely some form of a sociopath, I didn't play around. I got a lawyer. An expensive one. And I'm going against my natural inclination to be kind and fair and give him more than he deserves. Quite frankly, anything is more than he deserves, and far more than he earned, but in the interest of enabling him just ONE MORE TIME so he has the resources to GTFO of my country and therefore my face, it's worth parting with a few inconsequential things and dollars that I will quickly replace. There's of course no guarantee that he'll flee (other than many past years of cut-and-run behavior), but I have already kindly informed him that if he sticks around in this city that he spent the last 4 years bitching about, he'll have a front row seat to the new fabulousness that my life without him will bring. And oh, am I bringin' it...
I may or may not have had a little bit of a 'wild phase' since pulling the plug, I will not confirm or deny. But let's just say that hypothetical 'wild phase' *did* happen... I think I probably would have gotten a few things out of my system. And I certainly have found out who my real friends are-- and aren't. That was almost more disappointing than the marriage itself falling apart. Because no matter what you tell yourself while it's happening, you KNOW at the core of your soul that it isn't working. But sometimes there's mitigating circumstances that make you decide to stay there. But when people who have spent years posing as close friends betray you and clearly don't give a damn? That shit stings. It's always shocking to have a closeup view of extremely dysfunctional human behavior, especially when it's directed right between your eyes. But I'm ok. It's like removing a festering splinter from the palm of your hand. Hurts while you're doing it, but eventually it will heal and you'll be better for it. I know I already am.
So stay tuned...more fabulousness is yet to come. I shall return to my blog! More frequently than quarterly! I promise! I'm sure I'll have some dating foibles to rant about eventually. There's something to look forward to.
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