my patronus is surely a phoenix

Now that I've recognized my ability to fly high, go down in flames, be reduced to mere ashes, then rise again to fly once more, I have decided that the next logical addition to my collection of body art is a phoenix.  My right arm is a near-complete half-sleeve, I just need to figure out what will be a logical addition for the empty space in the back.  My left arm only sports a scorpion, partly encircled by the tail of a cat sitting on my shoulder. Originally the scorpion only represented my (now) ex, but it also represents the part of me that isn't pure Libra, that is Scorpio rising, and serves as a good reminder not to get stung again.  I don't feel the need to alter it or hide it, it is my past, it is part of my story.  Which to me, is what body art is all about.  Telling your story, telling the world who you are through a visual diary.

So I sketched this (yeah, I know, I'm so NOT an artist, just "artistic"!) phoenix, against a backdrop of flames, about to be engulfed again.  Although looking at it now, the head looks more like a cardinal. THE ANGRY CARDINAL OF DOOM.  Heh heh...just made myself laugh.  That's a good sign I'm getting back to the real me.  Dorkily laughing at my own stupid jokes is a sure sign of my return to my default setting of "uncool and doesn't give a damn who knows it or likes it".

Had a meeting for work this week, and although it was not exactly the most scintillating two days I've ever had, it was oddly refreshing.  I have a bunch of coworkers (they're all guys, I'm the only chick, hence my "unicorn" nickname) who I can see genuinely care about me as a person.  Not just as a (sometime) asset on the team, but as a human being.  They all checked in with me to see how I was doing coping with everything that's happened to me this year, and each of them did what they could to cheer me up.  Some of them shared their own stories of similar situations, some told anecdotes to distract me, some just listened and nodded sympathetically.  Some of them made me laugh so hard I was sure milk I hadn't even been drinking was going to come out of my nose.  Each one of them helped in their own way and reminded me that although I may not always be valued as much as I want to be by someone, there are plenty of good quality people out there who do value me and can be counted on when I need a friend.  Not that I don't have friends here - I have AWESOME friends here - but who can truly say this about their coworkers?  And it's almost universal throughout this company.  I have close coworker friends who I didn't see this week who aren't on my team but check in on me regularly when they think I'm struggling with something.  And I appreciate that. 

So this is like my Thanksgiving, Part Deux.  I'm so grateful to be a part of this amazing company and incredible team, and honored and touched that they all look after me, like a dozen or so protective big brothers I never had.  It's things like this that make me realize I am beyond what people call "fortunate".  I exist in the realm of the few, the proud, the genuinely "lucky".  Hmmm, that sounds like a good tattoo as well...