Friday, August 7, 2009
And I forgot one of my all-time faves: stanky people who don't know they be stanky. Yes, I know the word is "stinky", but sometimes that's just not descriptive enough. I had a friend who used to refer to really rank individuals as "spicy", which entertained me to no end. A ripe person would enter the room and as we were both blasted in the face with a wall o' stench, she'd just raise her eyebrows and look demurely off to the side and say, "my, oh my, but isn't *somebody* very SPICY today?!" I love that phrase. Still use it sometimes. Unfortunately, there were a few 'spicy' people on my first flight of the day. Hopefully the next one will be better.
Just to be really clear on this...
Just in case I was unclear in the past, let me reiterate a few of the things I loathe about traveling.
1. People who listen to music/watch videos on the plane with NO HEADPHONES, and the milquetoasty flight attendant who won't say anything to them to make it stop. (ok, I didn't say anything either, but it's not my JOB.) I was just treated to two hours of secondhand screechy middle-eastern music coming out of an iPhone in the row in front of me. Which was being wielded by pet peeve #2:
Couples who kiss slurpily in public. Seriously? Gross. I'm thrilled that you're in love and on a big, exciting air plane trip together, but I can live without hearing what your saliva sounds like when it meets. Everyone who knows me is aware that I hate pretty much any mouth noise that isn't speech (and depending on the source, even that sometimes), so just imagine how thrilled I am to hear multiple, repetitive *smak * *slurp* *smak* *slurp* *mmmmloveyousmak*s. Aaaggghhh.
Thirdly, and again, the oxen who insist upon clogging the moving walkways and now the exit area of the escalators. It's like a new gathering place for the spacially/socially unaware. "Hmmm, let's see, lots of people need to step off of the escalator right here or get run over...I think I'll stay!". Oxen, I say.
Lastly, USAir Club, which I recently joined, does not serve free hooch! Wth!?! Air Canada's Maple Leaf Lounge pimps it out like they're trying to create a new wave of alcoholism. So what gives?? Eight bucks for a glass of (crappy) wine? Is this place sponsored by AA or what!? So I guess I paid a couple of hundred bucks for, well, peanuts. And a quiet place to do yet MORE work from. Greeeeaaaat.
*sigh*. I'll be home in about 3 hours, from my 3rd week-long excursion in as many weeks. Guess it's starting to take it's toll on me. Oh, that and the 10 lbs or so I've managed to somehow pack on while being flung between US and Canada. Aargh.
1. People who listen to music/watch videos on the plane with NO HEADPHONES, and the milquetoasty flight attendant who won't say anything to them to make it stop. (ok, I didn't say anything either, but it's not my JOB.) I was just treated to two hours of secondhand screechy middle-eastern music coming out of an iPhone in the row in front of me. Which was being wielded by pet peeve #2:
Couples who kiss slurpily in public. Seriously? Gross. I'm thrilled that you're in love and on a big, exciting air plane trip together, but I can live without hearing what your saliva sounds like when it meets. Everyone who knows me is aware that I hate pretty much any mouth noise that isn't speech (and depending on the source, even that sometimes), so just imagine how thrilled I am to hear multiple, repetitive *smak * *slurp* *smak* *slurp* *mmmmloveyousmak*s. Aaaggghhh.
Thirdly, and again, the oxen who insist upon clogging the moving walkways and now the exit area of the escalators. It's like a new gathering place for the spacially/socially unaware. "Hmmm, let's see, lots of people need to step off of the escalator right here or get run over...I think I'll stay!". Oxen, I say.
Lastly, USAir Club, which I recently joined, does not serve free hooch! Wth!?! Air Canada's Maple Leaf Lounge pimps it out like they're trying to create a new wave of alcoholism. So what gives?? Eight bucks for a glass of (crappy) wine? Is this place sponsored by AA or what!? So I guess I paid a couple of hundred bucks for, well, peanuts. And a quiet place to do yet MORE work from. Greeeeaaaat.
*sigh*. I'll be home in about 3 hours, from my 3rd week-long excursion in as many weeks. Guess it's starting to take it's toll on me. Oh, that and the 10 lbs or so I've managed to somehow pack on while being flung between US and Canada. Aargh.
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