I went to a metaphysical meetup today. I mean, the meetup itself was physical, but the subject was metaphysics. There was a hypnotist there who first guided one person through a remote viewing session, then she guided the whole room of us (22 or so people) through visiting a past life of ours.
It was pretty fascinating, but the whole time I kept questioning myself if what was coming into my mind was coming from my mind, or if I was actually with my spirit guides and experiencing it. Either way, what came out of it was that I had been a 16-year-old girl named Annelise Crofton somewhere in England during Victorian times. I (she) was wearing these extremely uncomfortable boots that weren't very high-heeled but had about a million annoying buttons on the inside of the ankle up to the top of the boots, which were mid-calf height. I was wearing layers and layers of very feminine but structured clothing, petticoats and such underneath bustiers with rigid, uncomfortable boning in the seams. I had very long, curly red ringleted hair, and seemed to be wrestling with the knowledge that I was about to be married off to somebody I didn't want to be married to.
I think one of the first spirits to greet me was Miss Ruth, she was a sunday school teacher of mine. She passed when I was still pretty young, so it's not like I was close to her for very long. I was wondering why she might have been so close to me in spirit, then remembered I'm wearing her ring. My great aunt, who inherited some of the estate from Miss Ruth and her brother Earl (a sweet, blind elderly gentleman who used to type little rhymes on postcards and mail them to us on our birthdays and holidays) had given it to me a 5 or 6 years ago since I was so in love with it despite how old it was, and I've worn it continuously ever since. Earl was there too.
My grandfather was there, as was that great aunt. Also, her sister, her sister's husband, my great-grandmother and great-grandfather, all from the paternal side of my family. Maybe because I was closer to them growing up, or because i don't remember any of the maternal family members that have passed. I'm sure there were others there that I didn't recognize.
And just to be clear, I didn't 'see' anybody. It was more of a sense of their personality, their presence, trying to be recognized. There was a light, it was very white-yellow and not cold, but not hot either.
The hypnotist said to ask our guides what lesson we were supposed to take from that life. Mine seemed to be struggling with oppression and suppression. I had very strong ideas and was a willful girl, but I was about to have to succumb to the will of another, and had no choice in the matter. I wonder if that's why I've spent most of this lifetime trying to prove to myself that I can do whatever I want, no matter what other people say, and refusing to be oppressed. It would make sense. It would also explain my soft spot for Victoriana. I don't surround myself with it (anymore. I did go through a phase.), but I find myself drawn to Victorian things even though I embrace a modern, urban style now.
The things that were strangest to me were two physical occurrences that happened. At one point in time during the hypnosis, I felt my skin get hot. Not like when you're outside and the temperature is high so you start sweating. This was more like when you have the cold sweats and a fever, and your skin just all of a sudden feels hot then cold because it gets sweaty and the sweat starts evaporating. So although I wasn't focusing on my physical being at that time, my temperature change brought my attention back to the physical. And the room was very comfortable, I was sitting near a fan so it wasn't hot at all. It was like I had raised my energy level without moving, just by concentrating and relaxing.
The other thing was that when she was talking us 'down', back into the physical realm, there was a point at which my spirit guides started to recede and the weirdest thing happened to me - I felt tears forming behind my eyelids, and as the spirits faded away, I realized my body was crying. I wasn't sobbing, or catching my breath like I really do when I cry for real, it was like my body decided to do that as a reflex, independent of any decisions I might have made.
And before you go thinking I've gone off the deep end, I still have my doubts. I don't want to doubt, but it was all so...faint, that I have to wonder, did I conjure that up from my imagination, or did I really experience it? I still don't know. It's like when someone shouts at you from really far away and you think you understood what they were saying but maybe not. That's about how faint these ideas and signals were that I picked up. The tears made me think maybe I did experience it, because on my conscious level, I wasn't experiencing any emotion in particular, much less something strong enough to make me cry in public in front of 21 other strangers. Others said they experienced something similar when coming back, which is interesting.
I'm going to try to practice what she guided us through, the worst that can happen is nothing, and I just do a little deep breathing and maybe relax a little. Unless of course I visit my past again and discover I was a REPUBLICAN. That would be waaaaay worse.
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